imagining love
“Nothing has been seen that is better for two who love one another than marriage.” (Ibn Majah)
i imagine i detest coriander on my plate, so your hands take my garnish and add it to yours.
i think about how you might be having the hardest of days, and my soft words are what you crave.
i imagine you pick up on my nerves in the market place, and gently take my shopping list into your left hand whilst placing your right in mine.
i think about how you love the morning sun, and at the break of dawn you whisper to me good morning sunshine, comparing me to that what you love most
i imagine your strong hands untangling my thoughts when everything gets a bit too much.
i think about you thinking about me as you pass a shop, picking up your favourite chocolate so that i can try it too.
i imagine not being a fan of a family dish of yours, and you sneaking some onto your spoon so we don’t upset anybody at the table.
i think about how you you would make our children laugh, the same way you will make me laugh the first time we meet.
i imagine i write diary upon diary of the most mundane happenings in my life, and you sit comfortably in your chair and spend the time you have reading with a beautiful smile on your face, as though “i walked to the shops” somehow brightened your day.
i think about how you might love me with all the changes of giving birth, setting an example to our children how to honour another woman.
i imagine i get tired, and you still take me to the cinema because you love my company in your favourite place. i think about how you might be when we travel, can i keep up with you and you with me?
i wonder if you like chocolate cake, or will i be able to be of greed and eat the entire plate.
i wonder if you will catch my stumbling faith and raise my heart in times of need.
i wonder if i will raise yours.
i wonder if you will grow tired of running your fingers through my hair.
i wonder if you will fix my hijab after strong winds.
i wonder what your name will be and if i will think of you as i watch lights dance across the night sky.
i wonder if you you are waiting for me somewhere, praying perhaps for my hand to finally grace yours.
i wonder if i will pray for you too.
and i suppose that’s all i can do.
Walyullah sent me the above on instagram which prompted me to edit this draft. the next section is an attempt at the OR phenomena. in a different format, perhaps a less obvious ‘OR’ is present. but it is albeit an attempt of reflecting on learning love. as always, please do be kind:
the world qalb قلب means heart
the word ma ماء means water
she said: you left me holding ماء in my hands
the overflowing ma, drowns her shores
he said: o' قلب , guide me home
he sought shelter beyond the walls of her chest
he slips through her palms
she prays: o water carry me to what was written
he cries: o heart carry me to what was written
she is looking for the source
they told her: water softens stone
he is looking for home
they told him: look towards your own rib
under morning sun they met once more
beneath a water fall
her collecting water
his gaze watching from afar
he learns to pour
she learns to hold
she learns to love
he learns to hold
they share dua:
O' Allah (swt) pair me with tranquility
O As-Salām, make me of tranquility
i could not leave this post without putting my thoughts in to a few verses, inshaAllah you can feel the love from this one:
(p.s. i never got around to naming this poem, there is no word for me that can define love i suppose, perhaps i could just call it love?)
did our souls meet
before the weight of bodies?
did you whisper
across the veil of light,
your nearness feels like remembering.
i have not known love
written in poems before me,
written between man and woman
my love is a mirror of what i lack,
yet i find myself familiar with you.
if my love is a river before rain,
will i learn to flow freely in your arms-
untamed by the earths that contain me?
does my angel dance at the sound of your name?
will your love remind me?
if the knots in my hair frighten you,
if my grief folds itself in corners-
will you trace my name
amongst the dusted floorboards
and stay?
can i be your morning sun
who learns the morning skies,
and you, my sunflower,
facing a blinding light
as though my warmth gives you life?
can i be your petal,
dare i say, your bird?
unclip my wings, dear darlin’
not to keep me,
but to set me free.
will you turn to me
lift your arms to carry me
as the ocean carries
the salt of the sea to the shore?
will you leave me
once i arrive?
let fleeting become a forgotten language,
and surrender a familiar tone.
take me in your palms.
make me of yours.
i crave to hold the scent of my homeland
in both palms-
and you,
you be that homeland?
jerilee xo
thank you if you got this far. if you can tell i may have fallen ill in the curse of wanting love, OR perhaps the blessing of desiring such love. who knows?
may Allah (swt) pair us with who can bring us tranquil hearts. may Allah (swt) make us of those who cause tranquility in another.
OR / AND (see what i did there)
thank you guys truly for every support you have given me. may Allah (swt) reward you and put barakah in all that you do! <3
jeriiiiiii, i've read this so many times in the past couple of days. allahumma barik so beautifully written. i saw the post you referenced a few months ago and wow the poem it inspired. i have no words. i love it so so so much. i think it also feels personal in a way because i am from an island and when i imagine love, i imagine it as as the romance that happens between shore and waves. it really spoke to me. i love all the water imagery and metaphor. you have real talent mashaAllah, keep sharing this beautiful work 💜💜 May Allah bless you with a love far beyond your imagination in its beauty, peace, and mercy.
p.s. i totally would sit by a fence by the shore in that exact same position hahah
Ameen!
Loved this so much 🤍
May you find the most purest of love centered around your faith and Allah be what grounds your marriage. A love that outlives this dunya and continues in Jannah. Ameen.